Without taking adult risks, rewards are trivial

“Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Start a Family, and Other Manly Advice,” by Jim Geraghty and Cam Edwards, asserts it is.

They go beyond that. They claim assuming adult responsibilities, including a regular job and a family, are fulfilling and liberating. Geraghty and Edwards offer a lighthearted, yet full-throated defense of the joys of adulthood. They confront today’s popular concept that a job, a spouse and kids are terrible burdens, and that growing up is a trap. They explain why embracing these things instead makes life great.

They do not claim doing these things is effortless or that the road to manhood is smooth. They stress the challenges inherent in being an adult. It is hard work, and they illustrate their points with their own experiences, including the mistakes they have made.

Their avatar for fatherhood is Ward Cleaver, the fictional father from the 1950s sitcom, “Leave it to Beaver.” For Geraghty and Edwards Ward Cleaver is the man; their ultimate authority on being a man and a dad. They do not want to go back to the 1950s. Rather, they want to recapture one thing good about those years: men being unapologetic about being adults and fathers.

They spend chapters exploring the attributes of being an adult male. They show why college does not prepare you for the real world, and why young men need to move out of their parents’ homes. They explore the role video games, drinking and clothes play in the life an adult man. They examine the agonies and joys of work.

They also consider the way adult men approach love and marriage. Yes, you should ask her out. Take the risk of rejection, because without risk the rewards are few. That is a theme of the book — without taking the risks associated with adulthood, your rewards are trivial and life unfulfilling.

Do you have sons in their 20s or in their teens? Get this book and leave it where they can read it. Especially if they are in their teen years. “Heavy Lifting” is something you grow into.